We could hear the noises he made; we could hear the Someone Has Me Wrapped Around Their Little Finger To Me They Are My World Shirt she made (and there were two or three different partners in the time the three of us the four of us if you count whoever was in Ray’s bed were separated by a few square meters of the creaking floorboard and flaking plaster). ‘He goes on long enough,’ I said one night, when we were both lying awake, staring at the ceiling. ‘I should be so lucky,’ said Laura. This was a joke. We laughed. Ha, ha, we went. Ha, ha, ha. I’m not laughing now. Never has a joke-filled me with such nausea and paranoia and insecurity and self-pity and dread and doubt. When a woman leaves a man, and the man is unhappy (and yes, finally, after all the numbness and the silly optimism and the who-cares shrug of the shoulders, I am unhappy although I would still like to be included somewhere in the cover shot of Marie’s next album is this what it’s all about?
Someone Has Me Wrapped Around Their Little Finger To Me They Are My World Shirt, Hoodie, Sweatshirt, Tank top
Sometimes I think so, and sometimes I don’t. I went through this period, after the Someone Has Me Wrapped Around Their Little Finger To Me They Are My World Shirt and Marco thing, of imagining them together, at it, and Charlie’s face contorted with a passion that I was never able to provoke. I should say, even though I do not feel like saying it (I want to run myself down, feel sorry for myself, celebrate my inadequacies — that’s what you do at times like these), that I think things were OK in That Department. I think. But in my fearful imaginings, Charlie was as abandoned and as noisy as any character in a porn film. She was Marco’s plaything, she responded to him every touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world had better sex than the sex Charlie had with Marco in my head. But that was nothing. That had no basis in reality at all.