I was like all those people who suddenly shaved their heads and said they’d always been punks, they’d been punks before punk was even thought of: I felt as though I was going to be found out at any moment, that somebody was going to burst into the college bar brandishing one of the Nebraska Dilly Dilly St Patrick’s Day Shirt photos and yelling, Rob used to be a boy! A little lad! and Charlie would see it and pack me in. It never occurred to me that she probably had a whole pile of books about ponies and some ridiculous party dresses hidden away at her parents’ place in St. Albans. As far as I was concerned, she had been born with enormous earrings, drainpipe jeans, and an incredibly sophisticated enthusiasm for the works of some guy who used to splodge orange paint around. We went out for two years, and for every single minute, I felt as though I was standing on a dangerously narrow ledge.
Nebraska Dilly Dilly St Patrick’s Day Shirt, Hoodie, Sweatshirt, Tank top
I couldn’t ever get comfortable if you know what I mean; there was no room to stretch out and relax. I was depressed by the lack of flamboyance in my wardrobe. I was fretful about my abilities as a lover. I couldn’t understand what she saw in the orange-paint guy, however many times she explained. I worried that I was never ever going to be able to say anything interesting or amusing to her about anything at all. I was intimidated by the Nebraska Dilly Dilly St Patrick’s Day Shirt men in her design course and became convinced that she was going to go off with one of them. She went off with one of them. I lost the plot for a while then. And I lost the subplot, the script, the soundtrack, the intermission, my popcorn, the credits, and the exit sign. I hung around Charlie’s hall of residence until some friends of hers caught me and threatened to give me a good kicking. I decided to kill Marco, the guy she went off with