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My mum had a phone call from Phil’s mum. School was, for a few weeks, uncomfortable. Compare and contrast with what happens if I make that sort of mess now: I can go to different pubs and clubs, leave the answering machine on, go out more, stay in more, fiddle around with my socia Boobs Are Proof That Men Can Focus On Two Things At Once Shirt compasses and draw a new circle of friends and anyway, my friends are never her friends, whoever she might be, avoid all contact with disapproving parents. That sort of anonymity was unavailable then, though. You had to stand there and take it, whatever it was. What perplexed me most of all was the feeling of flat disappointment that overtook me when Jackie called me that

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Sunday morning. I couldn’t understand it. I had been plotting this capture for months, and when capitulation came I felt nothing less than nothing, even. I couldn’t tell Jackie this, obviously, but on the other hand, I was quite unable to show the enthusiasm I felt she needed, so I decided to have Boobs Are Proof That Men Can Focus On Two Things At Once Shirt her name tattooed down my right arm. I don’t know. Scarring myself for life seemed much easier than having to tell Jackie that it had all been a grotesque mistake, that I’d just been messing about; if I could