It would have been better for both of us if I had moved to Australia when I was fifteen, phoned home once a week and reported a sequence of fictitious major triumphs. Most fifteen-year-olds would find it tough, living on their own, on the other side of the 43 Years Of Star Wars 1977 2020 Characters T-Shirt world, with no money and no friends and no family and no job and no qualifications, but not me. It would have been a piece of piss compared to listening to this stuff week after week. It’s well, it’s not fair. Snot fair. It’s never been fair. Since I left home, all she’s done is moan, worry, and send cuttings from the local newspaper describing the minor successes of old school friends.
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Is that good parenting? Not in my book. I want sympathy, understanding, advice, and money, and not necessarily in that order, but these are alien concepts in Canning Close. I’m all right if that’s what’s upsetting you. I know that’s not what’s upsetting her. You know that’s not what’s upsetting me. Well, it bloody well should be, shouldn’t it? Shouldn’t it? Mum, I’ve just been dumped. I’m not feeling so good. And not so bad, either the 43 Years Of Star Wars 1977 2020 Characters T-Shirt Beatles, half a bottle of Chardonnay, and Brookside have all done their stuff but I’m not telling her that.